Psychotherapist reveals 11 dangerous signs that someone close to you is messing with your head. “Gaslighting” is emotional abuse. “The perpetrator, who is usually more powerful, tries to distort reality for the victim, who is usually less powerful, and the victim allows it to happen,” says Dr. Robin Stern, a psychotherapist and author of The Gaslight Effect, on the Psychology Today blog. “The perpetrator, who is usually more powerful, tries to distort reality for the victim, who is usually less powerful, and the victim allows it to happen.” As a result, the victim loses power and begins to lose their sense of self. This is a warning sign that you may be being gaslighted.
11 warning signs that you’re being manipulated
1. You often find yourself arguing with the other person about who is right and who is wrong , and who has a more accurate understanding of reality. Denial turns to manipulation when there is no compromise or attempt to understand the other person’s perspective after the tension has subsided. “No matter what happens, nothing changes: you are always wrong. You are not seeing reality correctly. Your experience is not correct,” says Dr. Stern.
2. Your partner is constantly in denial. This เล่นบาคาร่า UFABET เว็บตรง ค่าคอมสูง type of persistent denial can become manipulative when your partner is constantly “denying” your feelings or memories. “Defense doesn’t always mean manipulative,” Benu Lahiri, a clinical therapist at Ours, tells SheKnows. Manipulation involves patterns of behavior that continually deny reality, feelings, or experiences.
3. You often feel confused and believe you are crazy. Being treated like this can be very confusing,” says Dr. Lahiri. If your partner often tells you that you are crazy and twists things around to make you seem irrational. That’s a warning sign that you are being manipulated. And if you often feel confused and start to believe you are going crazy, that’s also a worrying sign.
4. You start to feel increasingly insecure about yourself. Victims of manipulative behavior begin to believe the perpetrator’s perspective more than their own. As a result, victims begin to question themselves and are not sure whether they can trust their own experiences, Dr. Stern says. “This can lead to problems with self-esteem and self-confidence.”
5. You start to wonder if you might be overly sensitive. One of the most common ways manipulators use is to accuse their partner of being overly sensitive or overly emotional. When you hear these words repeatedly, you may begin to believe them to be true. If your partner says this a lot and you start to think they are right. It could be a sign that you are being manipulative.
6. You start to feel very insecure about yourself. This is a key sign in any relationship that has been ruined by manipulation. Both partners feel deep insecurities about themselves, but the victim’s insecurities are more severe than the perpetrator’s. The victim truly loses their sense of self and identity and accepts the identity that their partner is trying to instill in them.
“If you’re feeling insecure and don’t have a strong sense of self, you’re giving your power to the other person as a way to bond,” says couples therapist Dr. Jeanette Raymond, author of Now You Want Me, Now You Don’t!. “But you’re giving your heart away!”
“Perpetrators who lack self-confidence try to feel safe by controlling their partner’s feelings,” Dr Raymond added.
7. You find yourself apologizing all the time. You feel like you have to be on your guard all the time around your partner, and you often end up apologizing. When you talk to your partner about an issue, they often turn the tables on you. If you notice that no matter what you talk about. You always end up taking responsibility and apologizing. It could be a sign that you’re being manipulated, says Dr. Lahiri.
Dr. Stern agrees, saying you can be trolling if the roles are reversed — you bring up the issue and then apologize, but the conversation never gets back to your hurt feelings or how you’ve resolved them.
8. Your arguments go round and round. If arguments with your partner leave you feeling confused by their exaggerations or twisted ways of telling the truth, and you actually believe them when they say it’s all your fault, take a closer look. This could be a sign that you’re a victim of manipulation.
9. You often make excuses for your partner’s behavior to friends and family. If you find yourself constantly explaining your partner’s strange or inconsistent behavior to those close to you, and constantly making excuses for them, it could be a sign of a deeper issue.
10. You start lying to avoid accusations and distorting the truth. After a while, you get tired of your partner twisting your story and distorting your reality, so much so that you start lying to them to avoid arguments.
11. You feel anxious and fearful. If you don’t feel safe around your partner, or you constantly worry that an argument or conversation will get worse, you may be manipulating them. “When someone is manipulating you, they’re creating insecurity in your worldview. And if you’re constantly being told that you’re wrong, you may start to feel afraid to interact with the outside world,” says Dr. Stern. You may feel like you don’t have a clear lens through which to view the world, or you worry that everything will be turned on you in anger or negativity.